Interlude 2: Träumerei Never Ends — Part Two

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/15/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

Chigusa sat facing me, an unusually somber expression on her face.

“Everyone must know how starved for love Miri is.”

If they know, then why don’t Father and Mother love me the way they love my sister?

“Is that really true, I wonder …”
“Yes. Even I understood the moment I met you. They understand too, but none of them will answer your need because they lack the courage to bear that responsibility. It is shameful. At the very least, the parents who brought you into this world have a duty to do so.”
“But … it’s my fault I got sick, isn’t it? If I weren’t sick—if I could run around outside like other children—I wouldn’t have caused everyone so much trouble.”
“A family is supposed to embrace all of that along with you … though perhaps expecting so much is unrealistic. My own family was the same.”
“Yours too, Chigusa?”

I had not expected her to say that.
Chigusa held me with so much love that I had assumed she must have grown up surrounded by people who loved her too.

“No one loved me. If anything, they hated me for no reason. The one person who did love me was hurt by those who hated me, and in the end, that person came to hate me as well.”
“That’s awful. You’re so wonderful and kind, Chigusa.”

At my insistence, Chigusa smiled—troubled, but happy—and gently rested her forehead against mine.

“You and I are alike, Miri. Perhaps that is precisely why I was able to find you.”
“Alike …?”

But Chigusa and I were nothing alike.
She was so far beyond my reach that I could not understand why someone like her would take an interest in someone like me.
Still … Chigusa would never lie to me.
Maybe it was true.
If Chigusa had once been like me, then—

“Does that mean I can change too? Can I become someone wonderful like you?”
“You can. Once you are reborn, Miri, you should be able to reclaim your sister as well.”
“But you’re going to eat me, aren’t you?”
“Yes. But what I shall consume is the human called Miri. I am not going to kill you.”
“… What does that mean?” Continue reading →

Interlude 1: Träumerei Never Ends — Part One

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/14/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

My world is very small.
All I can do is sit quietly in a dim room like a cage and look outside.
I hardly ever go out, so I have no friends. To me, my big sister Rellie is practically my whole world.
Father and Mother are kind, but their work does not seem to have been going very well lately, and they often argue when Rellie is away.
They never take it out on me, but they visit my room far less than they used to, and on the rare occasions when we talk, they can be terribly cold.
The way they look at me has grown cold too, and that hurts so much.

I take up only the tiniest bit of space, but it seems that even living requires me to have some value.
Then why was I born? I ask the stars that question every night, but no one ever answers.
It is because I do not shine.
People without value do not shine, so the stars surely cannot find me either.

If Rellie were not part of my family, she never would have found me.
It was not because I shone. She merely happened to be near me.
Without a stroke of luck like that, I could not even make someone notice me.
That is why I want to treasure what I have now. I do not want to lose Rellie.

“Rellie, why do you have to go …?”

But Rellie is going to marry Dick.
She will become part of someone else’s family, and all that will remain in this house are Father and Mother, who do not need me, and me, who is nothing but a burden.
I understand. Dick is rich, and once she marries him, things will surely become easier for our family.
In fact—ever since her marriage to Dick was settled, Father and Mother have stopped arguing, and even their eyes have grown warmer when they look at me.
But that only makes it hurt more.
Because whether I like it or not, it has shown me that my value to Father and Mother comes down to money.
Only Rellie has never changed.
As long as I have her, I need nothing else.

“Please don’t go, Rellie. Stay my sister forever—mine and mine alone—” Continue reading →

13. The Girls Sink into a Sea of Happiness

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/13/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

I sat alone in the chapel, now completely dark with no light coming in from outside.
The preparations were already complete. All that remained was to wait for the guest of honor.
Then I heard the door open, and the room that should have been pitch-black filled with light.

“Mistress, might you at least turn on a light?”
“Nunnally … Where is Ellis?”
“She is spending time with the others. You said we were free to do as we pleased until Rellie arrived.”

Looking more closely, I saw that Nunnally was flushed and perspiring.
It seemed that she and Ellis had been helping prepare our new companions.

“How was she?”

When I asked, Nunnally answered with a dreamy expression.

“Miri is thirteen, is she not? At first I was understandably cautious, but I have accepted her as one of us.”
“I am glad you can accept her. I expect she will live here at the church with us, so please be kind to her.”
“Of course. But … we have no habits made for children. We shall have to order one.”

Nunnally began arranging the matter in her head, though I wondered whether it was truly necessary.
An oversized habit would do for now, since they frequently changed clothes during their private rituals.

“… Rellie may arrive soon. I shall return to the room.”
“Then, when the time is right …”
“Yes. I am to bring the two of them here.”

Once we had confirmed the plan, Nunnally returned to the rear of the church.
I was alone once more in the now-lit chapel.
I understood that Rellie could not leave immediately after her fiancé’s death.
But she had to be searching desperately for someone to save her.
I had expected her to shake off every restraining hand and force her way to the church. Had I not poured enough power into her?
Judging from everything that had happened before, so much prolonged contact should already have made her ready to surrender body and soul.
Perhaps compatibility differed from person to person.
Even so, she had entrusted herself to me once already. There could be no doubt that she was very close to falling completely.

I passed the time staring down at my feet as they swayed idly.
In a space so quiet that I could hear the insects outside, I closed my eyes and waited patiently for approaching footsteps.
Now and then, faint voices carried from the rooms beyond, which made waiting somewhat difficult.
As I smiled wryly, I finally heard someone outside strike the ground at a run.
It appeared our leading lady had arrived at last.
I rose from the pew, stepped onto the long red carpet across the chapel floor, and waited for Rellie to appear beyond the doors.

“Hah, hah, hah …” Continue reading →

12. And So, With Nowhere Left to Run, She Falls in Love

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/12/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

It was two days after I had turned Ainerinne into a Demi-Vamp.
I waited for Rellie in the chapel, where the setting sun streamed through the windows and dyed everything the color of twilight.
I had no recollection of arranging to meet her.
But I was certain.
Now that Ai—and her prospective mother-in-law, persuaded by Ai—had given their blessing to the marriage, Rellie would hurry straight to the church to share her joy with me.
I looked up at the statue of the goddess and smiled.
What could she be feeling as she gazed upon this church filled with inhuman creatures?
Did the fact that everything was proceeding so perfectly mean the goddess was blessing us?
Or was she lamenting her own powerlessness to do anything at all?
Not that I had the slightest intention of offering her a prayer.
It is not that I doubt the existence of gods, you understand.
But if the gods truly saved humans, then it would make no sense for me not to have been saved long ago.
Thus, I place no faith in them.
The happiness I possess now is the work of my own power. The goddess’s blessing has not the slightest thing to do with it.
So please, watch as best you can while I kill another human being—and make her happy.

“Chigusa!”

The doors flew open with a bang, and Rellie’s voice rang through the chapel.
I rose from the pew and opened my arms to welcome her as she ran toward me, sweat beading on her brow.
Rellie no longer rejected my physical affection.
She raced straight into my embrace.

“I did it! I really did it!”
“You succeeded in persuading Dick’s mother, then.”
“Mm-hm! His sister, who’s always been against it, came around to our side, and with Dick speaking up too, his mother finally said yes! It’s all thanks to you, Chigusa!”
“Not at all. Your feelings for each other simply got through to them.”
“Maybe, but to me, it’s all thanks to you!”

With that, she happily nuzzled her cheek against mine.
It was rather endearing—like having a pet dog take a liking to me.
She smelled faintly of sweat, but I liked that too.

“Still … hee hee. Did you truly need to hurry so much that you worked up a sweat?”
“I wanted to tell you the good news as soon as I possibly could. Things never would’ve gone this well without your advice.” Continue reading →

11. To Love You, I Would Let Both My Legs Rot Away

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/11/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

If I am going to enthrall someone anyway, I want to enjoy the process.
If I abandoned even that needless bit of pride, making someone mine would not be terribly difficult.
Now that I have begun to understand a vampire’s powers and how to wield the “shadows,” even breaking into a building is easy.
I can melt into the darkness and hide myself from every eye. With a trick like that at their disposal, perhaps it is only natural that vampires are called the rulers of the night.

I used that power to slip into the estate of a noble family called the Lindforgs, who lived in the northern part of the city.
The person I had come for was the family’s eldest daughter, Ainerinne Lindforg.
Apparently those close to her called her “Ai”—though she had only one or two people close enough to do so.
She was the very model of a haughty aristocrat. The moment she saw a commoner—or even a noble of the slightest lower rank—she looked down on them without a second thought.
Combined with her blonde hair, worn in twin tails of cascading ringlets, her personality was so overdrawn that I could almost mistake her for a character from a manga.

But even she looked adorable once she was asleep.
Her loosened blonde hair reminded me of Nunnally. Perhaps once Ainerinne became a vampire, she too would grow a little more demure.
With that hope in mind, I took the sleeping woman’s hand.
Thump, thump, thump.
The instant our bare skin touched, my power began to flow into Ainerinne.
She would fall in love with me as if in a dream.
When she awoke, I would no longer be there.
And yet, before she knew it, love for a stranger whose face she had never seen would have taken root in her heart.
You might call it a kind of bomb.
An exceedingly troublesome bomb that would burst the moment she saw me, flooding her with emotion.

“Ainerinne … no, Ai. I wonder what sweetly desperate side of yourself you’ll show me.” Continue reading →

10. No Humans Needed on the Bridal Aisle

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/10/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

After turning Nunnally into a vampire, Ellis and I decided to make ourselves at home in the church.
As Sisters, of course.
Nunnally appeared to have earned even more trust from the townspeople than I had imagined. On the strength of her introduction alone, no one questioned our presence.
Our red eyes and white skin were taken as mere peculiarities—which suggested that monsters known as vampires were not particularly well known in this world.
Then again, the only people who had even noticed Nunnally’s eyes changing color were the children who often came to play at the church. Perhaps the people of this town simply paid little attention to others’ appearances in the first place.

“Mmh … hah, shlurp … mrrh … slp … ”
“Does it taste good, Ellis?”
“Yesh … mmh, nnh … lick … delishush … ”

I sat on the bedroom bed with Ellis kneeling before me, sucking on my finger.
Her slick, lukewarm tongue coiled like a tentacle around the index finger I had slipped into her mouth, coating it in saliva.
This had not been my idea. Ellis had asked me to do it.
She must have been terribly envious of what I had done with Nunnally the other day, because she waited until we were alone and then begged me for a turn.
However—

“Shlurp … nnah, slrr … Shishter … ahh … ” Continue reading →

9. Do Not Look Inside the Moth Trap

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/9/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

The moment in which a person feels greatest happiness is not when they help someone, nor when someone expresses gratitude to them.
It is when they violate a taboo that they attain the summit of happiness.

Chigusa opened the door, and at last I stepped into the room.
Last night and the night before, I had only been permitted to listen from outside—to hear their voices as a bystander stranded upon an outer rim beyond all reach.
Now I was standing at their source.
That alone brought me such joy that I trembled, and yet I was about to become one of the participants as well.

“Haaaaah …”

I drew a long, deep breath, filling my chest with the sweet, tart fragrance that permeated the room.
It was a honeyed, elusive perfume in which the scents of Chigusa and Ellis mingled.
If merely breathing had this effect upon me, what would become of me if I buried my face in the bed?
I stopped in the middle of the room and stared fixedly at it. Chigusa, who had linked her arm through mine, whispered in my ear.

“Does the bed interest you that much?”
“Yes … When I think that I am about to take the stage there …”
“You look ready to lose your mind. Nunnally, you’re such a pervert.”
“But an honest Nunnally is much more endearing than one who forces herself to hold back.”
“Mm-hm. I think I like you better this way too.”
“Thank you.”

It was rather strange to thank them for such a thing, but I was too delighted not to.
There was nothing in this world I cherished more than praise from these two.
Yet now that I had actually entered the room, I found myself at a loss. I possessed no experience in such matters.
When I looked anxiously toward Chigusa, she spoke in a beguiling voice.

“To begin with, you may do whatever you please.” Continue reading →

8. Harboring Defilement

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/8/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

The next morning, the two women who appeared before me made no effort whatsoever to conceal the scent of lovemaking.
The red marks on their necks, their sweat-dampened skin, their dewy eyes—had they embraced the moment they woke, or had they not slept at all since the night before?

“Good morning, Nunnally.”

Chigusa was merely smiling and offering an ordinary greeting. Was I reading too much into it when I found her expression so alluring?
Even her red eyes seemed to seethe with the flames of desire.
Ashamed of the improper fantasies I had entertained the night before, I could not look her in the face and answered with my head bowed.

“G-Good morning …”

At the sight of me, Chigusa gave a soft laugh, sensuously touched an index finger to her lips, and smiled.
Then she walked over, spread her arms as she had the night before, and embraced me—and something soft and faintly moist brushed my cheek.
Surely that had not been … her lips?

“A morning greeting. Did it not please you?”

Seeing how bewildered and embarrassed I was, she whispered like a teasing little devil.

“No … It is not that.”

I could hardly admit that it had delighted me. Yet my heart was pounding so hard that there could be no concealing it.
Pressed this close together, surely Chigusa could feel both the heat of my body and the frantic beat of my heart through our clothes.

“Oh, Sister, you’re so unfair, keeping all the fun to yourself. I want to say good morning to Nunnally too, you know?”
“I do not recall taking anything from you. You may greet her as well, Ellis. You do not mind, do you, Nunnally?”

Before I could answer, Ellis wrapped herself around my arm and pressed her soft body against it through our clothes.
I became acutely conscious of the swell of her breast entwined with my arm.
Why should this make me feel such things when we were both women?
And yet, when I imagined Chigusa’s hands caressing the bare skin beneath those clothes the night before, it was impossible not to think about it.

“Morning, Nunnally.” Continue reading →

7. A Shadow Falls

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/7/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

After breakfast, we lingered at the table for a while, relaxing over cups of tea.
There was something I wished to ask them, and when the moment seemed right, I did so.

“Why did the two of you flee the Discard District?”
“I don’t know if you heard about it, Nunnally, but a soldier’s body was found in the city a little while ago, remember?”
“Yes. If I recall correctly, I heard that someone from the Discard District was found dead alongside him.”
“That was someone I knew. We got caught up in the whole mess, and when it looked like they were going to kill us, we ran.”

Hearing Ellis speak so casually of nearly being killed brought home to me once again that my understanding of the Discard District had not been mistaken.
Yet the blame also lay with the nobles who had sealed its people away and abandoned them without providing anyone to keep order, as well as with ordinary citizens like us. I could hardly despise them for what they had become.

“If you hadn’t taken us in, Nunnally, we might be dead by now. Seriously, thank you.”
“There is no need to thank me. I merely did my duty as a woman of the cloth.”

The way I said it with the face of a virtuous woman made me sick.
I had abandoned someone from the Discard District once before. Why could I not acknowledge my own wrongdoing? Why did I insist on carrying on this charade of being a good person?
When, to begin with—I was not even a true member of the clergy.

“Sister?”

I had become lost in my thoughts when Ellis’s voice, calling out to Chigusa, brought me back to reality.
I realized that Chigusa, who should have been sitting across from me, had vanished.
Before I could look to see where she had gone, she wrapped her arms around me from behind once more.
Her body felt cool against mine, yet beneath that coolness was the unmistakable pulse of life. It was a curious sensation.
Still holding me, she laid one palm over my hand.
Perhaps she had seen my expression and assumed that I was feeling dejected.
If so, she must simply have meant to comfort me, but I could not keep from remembering the events of the previous night.
Ellis’s moans spilling from their room—and Chigusa had been in there with her.

“Honestly, Sister, you really do love cuddling people.”
“You always smile when I do this, Ellis, so I thought it might make Nunnally smile as well. She looked so sad.”
“Did I truly look that way?”
“Yes. You were looking down so forlornly.”
“I…see. In that case, um, th-thank you. But I…”
“Are you unused to this sort of thing?” Continue reading →

6. Today as Ever, the Light Shines Only to Be Defiled

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/4/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

That night, the rain fell with the force of a storm.
At times like these, being alone in this dim church left me feeling strangely lonely.
The childish thought would suddenly come to me—if only someone would visit—yet those were always the times when no one came.
Naturally. There was a downpour outside.
In my room, illuminated by a magical lamp, I turned the pages of my book, now and then casting an uneasy glance at the rain striking the window.
Rustle, rustle.
It was an oft-read novel about an aristocratic boy and girl who abandoned their stations to elope—a book existing solely as entertainment, of the sort no woman of the cloth ought to read.
Then again, I had never been an officially recognized nun in the first place.
I was merely a woman who had let herself into an abandoned church and taken it upon herself to call herself a nun.
It was hardly something to concern myself with now.

“Has the rainy season begun, I wonder?”

Now and then, a murmur escaped my lips to ward off the loneliness.
The temperature had risen of late, and I could feel summer drawing closer.
The height of summer, with its punishing sunlight, would soon be upon us—but before that came the rainy season, when rain like today’s drenched the ground day after day.
It was a depressing prospect.
The damp made food quick to mold and laundry slow to dry.
Above all, foul weather had a way of clouding people’s hearts as well.
I would no doubt receive more requests for counsel.
There was little sense in fretting now over a future that might never come to pass, but this pattern had held true without fail ever since I arrived at the church.
Experience could, at times, prove more reliable than any theory.

“I do hope it will be clear tomorrow …” Continue reading →