Ex3. A Tour of Memories

Author: Kiki
Raw: https://novel18.syosetu.com/n2498fn/58/
Translator: Lilia v4
Editor: Yuriko AYA

Beyond the gate lay the rooftop of a school I knew by heart.
I had chosen, deliberately, to wear my uniform when I set foot there. I looked out over the town, let the autumn night wind move through me, and put the question to them.

“Do you remember? The time we spent together here.”

Memory rose.
The hours I had passed with them.
The abuse they had thrown.
The pain they had carved in.
Bruises.
Blood.
Laughter.
Eyes looking down.

“By now, of course, it is only a story one laughs at.”

The times they had cursed me for no reason, and kicked me.
The times they had pulled my hair and cut it off, carelessly, with scissors.
The times they had said they would pierce my ears for me, and driven a safety pin through the lobe again and again.
The times they had cut my wrists with a box cutter because I was annoying.
The time they had stripped me by force, had men sexually assault me, and laughed themselves sick watching.
All of it felt as distant as another life.
A story to laugh at. A story so far from the present that one could scarcely believe it had happened.

“Isn’t that so, Toka, Sakuna?”
“Yes, Lady Chigusa!”

It was Sakuna who answered so brightly.
Her speech was a little babyish, a little foolish, but she was an obedient, honest pet, and a good one.

“I am sorry, Lady Chigusa. The two of us then … we were not ourselves …”
“I do not mind. If those two had not existed then, I would not exist as I do now. It is only an argument from results, but I am almost grateful.”

Toka’s thinking ran a little too readily toward the dark, but she had become a quiet, pretty pet.
She was sinking, an anxious look on her face, so I crouched and stroked the underside of her jaw as she stayed on all fours.
She made a sweet, wheedling sound, and narrowed her eyes as if it felt good.

The two who had once looked down on me now wore collars, and crawled like dogs while I held their leashes.
This was not something I had wished for. Toka and Sakuna had proposed it themselves.
It had likely been an offer born of guilt, but they had fallen into it far more deeply than I had imagined—
perhaps, I thought, they had bullied me in the first place because they themselves had wanted to be hurt.
I have no such taste of my own. But if my beloved Toka and Sakuna asked it of me, it could not be helped.

“Shall we go, then? You must both be curious what the school looks like after so long.”

When I pulled the leashes a little hard, they made a choked sound of pain—and their faces were glad.
I will say this: it is not that any pain will do.
The important part is that the pain is given by me.

◇◇◇

 

My footsteps, the pat of palms on the floor, the drag of cloth, and the two of them breathing hard with excitement—those sounds mixed and carried through the night school building.
The time was ten o’clock.
It was early to call it the dead of night, but almost no one remained at the school.
Once, a school at night had been frightening in itself. Now I felt something closer to kinship with this dark.
People fear what lurks beyond the dark. We, as we are now, are what lurks beyond the dark.
In short, the victims had become the perpetrators.

“Ah. Here—”

I stopped in front of the east restrooms on the third floor, one floor above our classroom, a place that was seldom used.
Because no one came here, I had often been dragged into the boys’ room.
I wondered how those boys were doing. They should not have graduated yet. Unless they had transferred, they would still be coming to school.
Well. At this hour, a reunion would be difficult. That could wait for another visit.
For now—Toka’s and Sakuna’s confession came first.

“It is nostalgic, isn’t it? Do you remember, Sakuna? The time you had me eat the bread you had stepped on in the girls’ room here. I threw it up, and then I was told to lick that up as well. It was rather a trial.”
“… I remember.”
“There, there. I am not angry.”

I stroked Sakuna’s head as I went on.

“I only want the account settled. You see, when I am being affectionate with you and Toka, there are moments when the warmth suddenly goes out of it. That is because you are remembering what you once did to me, isn’t it?”
“That’s true, but … will you forgive us?”
“Sakuna.”

I went down on all fours myself, met her eyes, and set my mouth to hers.
I did not linger. When I drew back, she looked dazed, and a little puzzled, as if she had not caught my meaning.

“I love you both. From the beginning, this has not been a matter of forgiving or not forgiving.”
“… I did … I did such terrible things …”
“You no longer need that guilt. Toka neither. Let us throw it away today. In what you turn toward me, I have no use for any impurity other than love.”
“Lady Chigusa … how kind you are.”
“Lady Chigusa …! Yeah. I get it. I’ll forget all the old stuff, and be your pet from the bottom of my heart!”

At Sakuna’s earnest words, I could not help gathering her to my chest.
How dear she was.
If I had known this nature of theirs sooner, we might have understood one another without ever hurting each other.
There is no use lamenting the past. We have to look toward the future.
What comes after this will be so much longer than what came before.

 

◇◇◇

 

Next I took them to the science preparation room, also on the third floor.
I forced the lock.
The place before had been Sakuna’s memory. This time, of course, it was Toka’s turn.

“This is nostalgic as well. Isn’t it, Toka?”
“Yes … I have not forgotten. I broke the equipment, and I put the blame on you, Lady Chigusa.”

And the teacher who had been sympathetic toward me had, little by little, grown cold.

“What would you like me to do, Toka? With Sakuna, overwriting it with affection may be enough to erase the sense of sin. In your case, I doubt that alone will suffice.”
“You will hear my wish?”
“I would not lie to the Toka you are now. It is a cute pet’s begging. I will grant you anything.”
“Th-then …”

Toka rolled from all fours onto her back, showing me her belly.
Her cheeks were red. She looked at me as if expecting something.

“Will you step on me? It can hurt as badly as you like. You can treat it as play if you prefer. I just want you to step on me, Lady Chigusa!”
“You do like pain, don’t you, Toka. Very well. Which would you prefer—my shoe, or my bare foot?”
“I may choose that too!? Th-then your bare foot—please ruin my face with your warm bare foot, as hard as you can!”
“Hehehe. You are a pervert.”
“Is it … disgusting?”
“No. I am fond of perverts. Please show me a still more unsightly figure, Toka.”
“Lady Chigusa … ah, I am so glad I became your pet … I am the happiest person in the world …”

Saying so, Toka wept with joy.
I removed my shoes and socks and set my bare foot on her face without restraint.
From the sole to the spaces between my toes, she began to lick, thoroughly, with a long tongue.
A lukewarm, ticklish feeling ran across the sole.
With a body as sensitive as mine is now, even that was almost enough to draw a sound from me.
Now that I thought of it, it had been Sakuna who licked my foot in front of Mr. Kazeoka’s cage.
Sakuna watched, looking glad, as Toka—ugly like this, stepped on, her face mashed, my toes pushed into her mouth and nose—took it.
The two of them really had become such dear masochist pets. As their mistress, I was proud.

After I had played with her face for a while, I stepped on her as if kneading the rest of her.

Each time, Toka twisted and arched.
To find this pleasant, when I was stepping so hard—she really was an awful pervert.
Ah, cute. Cute. Cute!

See? Even when I kicked that soft belly with my heel, again and again, with all my strength, she looked so happy.
When I tired of the belly I went back to the face, and worked it over.
Ah, well. I had gotten saliva all over my foot. I supposed I could wipe it on her chest.

“Hehe. Your own clothes are filthy, and even that delights you. If I killed you, Toka, you would be glad, wouldn’t you?”
“Hah—yes—if it were you, Lady Chigusa—even stabbed—even killed—I would be glad!”
“But that will not do. If you die, it ends there. Toka, you are to live, and live, and live forever. You have a duty to be loved by me.”
“Ah—thank you—! To be loved by you, Lady Chigusa—I am so happy I could die—!”
“That is why I am telling you you must not die!”

When I pressed down on her belly with all my strength, Toka loosed a sound like a bark.
It would heal soon enough, but there would surely be bruises on her stomach.
And even those, as she was now, she would welcome as proof that I had loved her.

“Um, Lady Chigusa …?”

Sakuna spoke to me then.
When I looked, she was rubbing her thighs together, fidgeting, and holding the edge of my clothes.

“I want you to step on me too.”

Ah. I see.
I had been a little too rough. Shown a thing like that, of course she could not bear it.
I put my mouth to her ear.

“If you want to be stepped on, please lie on your back and show me your belly, like a dog.”

She flipped onto her back at once.
Toka looked barely able to breathe, so I let her rest and began on Sakuna.
I pressed to her face the sole still wet with Toka’s saliva.
A slick feeling, and a particular taste and smell.
Well—Toka and Sakuna were always affectionate with one another. It would be a flavor they knew.
Sakuna set her long tongue to my sole gladly, and licked as if her life depended on it.
To reward that service, I used the whole of my foot, down to the toes, and toyed with her face.
For some time after that, the science preparation room rang with the voices of Sakuna and Toka, hurt and rejoicing.

 

◇◇◇

 

I went on with the walk, dragging the two of them along in a daze.
I had never been especially attached to the school building, but walking it again after so long, nostalgia closed on my chest for reasons I could not name.
This world, my home, suited the air in my lungs better than the other one, after all.
Toka and Sakuna, too, seemed somehow more at ease than usual.
We left the building and came to the outdoor walkway that led to the gymnasium.
It was not as open as the rooftop, but the autumn wind was cold enough to raise a shiver.
There were small stones on the ground as well. Making the two of them crawl here would have been unkind.
I would have preferred to stay indoors—but when I saw the installed railing, I had a good idea.
Come to think of it, I had stepped on them, bitten them, used them as chairs—but I had never hurt them in the most ordinary way.
This seemed a fine opportunity.
I had Toka and Sakuna set their hands on the rail and turn their hips toward me.
They did as they were told, and offered me the round, soft-looking lines of their bodies, swaying them a little, as if to invite.
When I reached out and stroked them over their skirts, they let out sweet breaths in almost the same instant, like a unison.
But I had not put them in that posture for a tepid caress.
Well, then. I moved first to Sakuna’s side.
I drew my hand back far—and struck her over the skirt.

Sakuna loosed a particularly fetching cry. Merely hearing it sent a shiver through me.
Without a pause I struck that soft skin again.
And again. And again.
Each time Sakuna’s body jumped, and she cried out in a way I found interesting.

“If you want it to hurt more, please lift your own skirt.”
“Y-yes, Lady Chigusa!”

Sakuna hiked her skirt as she was told. The skin beneath had already flushed. She was wearing the white things I had chosen for her.
Judging by the color of her skin, it must have hurt considerably. Even so, that flesh waited, trembling, for my hand.
Hehe. A dog this improper would have to be trained more carefully.
I did not hold back. I brought my palm down on the bared skin.
A pleasantly sharp sound carried across the schoolyard.

“A fine voice, Sakuna. Does it feel good, being struck like this in a place where you once bullied me?”

Sakuna nodded again and again.

“It’s the best! So more—please, more!”
“I am fond of honest children!”

As if to reward a dear pet, I struck her in a kind of absorption.
Each time, a cry and a dry sound answered, and the skin swelled red.
And while I was lost in Sakuna’s body—

“Lady Chigusa. It isn’t fair. Only Sakuna. Me too—please hit me a lot too!”
“Hah … ah. Forgive me, Toka. It was so enjoyable I lost sight of everything else. I will strike you at once as well—”

Without waiting for an order, Toka had already lifted her own skirt.
What showed was the same as Sakuna’s: the things I had chosen for her to wear.
They were my property, after all. I wanted to choose what they put on, what was carved into them, and what decorated the marks I had made on their bodies.

“There!”
“If it feels good, please cry out more nicely! If you are my pets, throw shame away and think only of pleasing me!”

Even Toka, who so easily sank into dark thoughts, could be bright while she was drowning in pleasure.
Ah. How wonderful it is, to love one another.
I wanted to stay like this. I wanted to stay like this forever.

I struck them by turns, and they cried out in time.
At first I had been having so much fun I could hardly stand it, and even now the two of them looked helplessly happy—but after striking with my hand for so long, the stimulus had begun to feel a little insufficient.
I might make a whip from my shadows, and go hard enough to cut the skin.
Or I ought to find a tool somewhere.
I looked around with that in mind, and something suitable was lying there.

“I thought I heard a weird noise, and it’s you lot … Sato and Akizora, who went missing, and … wait. Hinata?”

Compared with a purpose-made tool it was rough work, but that would be part of the flavor.

“You came back!? Everyone was worried, you know? … Hey, why are you reacting like that? And what’s with those clothes? Why’ve you got your asses out?”

I walked toward him slowly.
Toka and Sakuna watched me, as if waiting to see what I would do.

“Nah, Hinata, I don’t care about you. Wait, is that even really Hinata? It’s dark and I can’t see well, but you’ve got no scars, and you used to look a lot grubbier. Whatever. Where are Kazeoka and Kawagishi and Tsuchizaki? If Akizora and them are back, those guys are here too, right?”

I touched his arm, and confirmed the shape.

“Hah? Hey, Hinata, what are you doing. Don’t touch me. Gross.”

He shook me off.
He was annoying, so I bound him from behind with my shadows.

“First of all, Hinata hanging around with Akizora and them is already weir—huh? What is this? Hey, Hinata, you did something, didn’t you!? I can’t … move!?”

I touched the arm again, and tore it off at the shoulder.

Skin split. Muscle parted. A great deal of blood pattered down.
I disliked being soiled with blood. However much they enjoyed being hurt, they would refuse a man’s blood, I was sure.
I sealed the cut for the moment … yes. That should make it usable.

“My arm … my arm …!”

I swung the torn-off arm as I approached Sakuna first.
The two of them had understood what was coming. They smiled, invitingly, and lifted their hips to a height that would be easy for me.
I drew back—and struck with the upper-arm side.

The sound was duller than a palm. The feeling that came back was closer to a blow than a slap.
Even so, Sakuna seemed glad of a pain different from before.
Next I went to Toka, who was watching with envy, and struck her the same way.

A terribly vulgar cry, nothing like everyday Toka, rang into the night sky.
I do like a gap. That alone will carry me to a height of excitement.
I was still luxuriating in their reactions, which had been even finer than I had imagined, when something touched my foot.

“Give … my arm … back … it’s mine …”

Trash.
But it still had a use.
I kicked that face, stepped on the throat, and, while I pressed the Adam’s apple and stopped the breath, I used my shadows to bring a leg within reach.
I put my strength into it, and this time tore it off from the thigh.

It was heavier than an arm, of course, and the blood was not to be compared.
I disliked soiling my own feet as well, so I sealed the cut of the torn-off thigh at once.
Then I stood beside Sakuna again, drew it back—and struck her with that thing like a blunt weapon.

Even she loosed a sound of real distress.
And still, merely because the pain was given by me, she rejoiced without condition.
Were there other pets so faithful to their mistress? I could have wept with feeling. I was so excited I could scarcely contain myself.
I was too glad. Before I knew it I had struck her again, at once.

A vampire’s flesh will not take injury from this—but even so, Sakuna at last slipped from the rail and collapsed.
Any more would be too great a burden on the body.
I would enjoy myself with Toka, who was watching me with expectation.

“Ah … my legs … my arms … my … body … what’s … happening …”
“I am going, Toka.”
“Help … me. A monster … that’s …”
“Yes, Lady Chigusa! Please do it as hard as you can!”

A heavy sound.

“Ah … it’s cold … I’m cold … where is … everyone … I don’t … want to … die …”
“Now, once more!”
“Moth … er … help …”
“Yes—break me, Lady Chigusa! Please break me!”

Another blow.

Toka, too, loosed a strange cry that was neither quite a scream nor quite a moan, and crumpled.

I, for my part, had no trouble with stamina, but I had grown tired from becoming too excited.
It was about time to end today’s walk.

“Well … come, both of you. Let us go home. This time I will love you gently, in our room in the other world.”

Neither of them could manage her tongue, and neither seemed able to stand.
It could not be helped. I took Sakuna on my back, and lifted Toka in my arms.
They looked a little downcast, perhaps ashamed of having troubled their mistress, but—

“A mistress is someone who wishes to be troubled by her pets.”

—that one remark of mine seemed to save them.
After we returned to the other world, they recovered a little strength, and devoted themselves to me with everything they had.
All in all, it was a thoroughly satisfying day.
I hope we can walk like this again.
Next time, with the old days having nothing to do with it at all—simply, mindlessly, taking pleasure in one another.